Tuesday night, I got lost on my way home from a Bible study. I was chatting on the phone with my husband, and I failed to make a turn. I drove on in the wrong direction for another ten minutes until I realized I had no idea where I was.
I had just ended our phone conversation a couple of minutes earlier, so I redialed. No answer. I hung up and called again. No answer. I called again and again and again as I anxiously drove into the dark night.
By the time my husband answered, I was unglued. He sweetly remained calm with me on the phone, apologized for leaving his phone unattended, and suggested I stop at McDonald’s for an ice cream cone on my way home once he got me headed back in the right direction.
I should have pulled into a gas station and waited to connect with him. But, I pressed on — heart racing and emotions wild.
Sometimes, I react in an ugly way. I don’t pause to reflect and respond in a godly manner. This is why I decided to pull Lysa TerKeurst’s book off the shelf and review this morning. I needed to remember the wisdom shared in Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions.
Here are my top 10 quotes:
1. “If we determine that, no matter what, we’re on God’s side, it settles the trust issue in our hearts. And if we ground ourselves in the reality that we trust God, we can face circumstances that are out of control without acting out of control. We can’t always fix our circumstances, but we can fix our minds on God.” p. 28
2. “Saying ‘I’m fine’ to keep the peace, when we’re really not fine, isn’t honest. It may seem godly in the moment, but it’s false godliness. Truth and godliness always walk hand in hand. The minute we divorce one from the other, we stray from soul integrity and give a foothold to the instability that inevitably leads to coming unglued.” p. 53
3. ” In God’s economy, people don’t stand on opposing sides of the conflict scale. People stand on one side and Satan stands on the other. When we dump hurt into one another’s lives, we aren’t leveling the conflict scale. We are just weighing down the people side of the scale and elevating the Satan side of the scale. Satan loves it when we do his work by dumping on each other. The secret to healthy conflict resolution isn’t taking a you-against-me stance, but realizing it’s all of us against Satan — he’s the real enemy.’ pp. 64-65
4. “The difference between boundaries and barriers is honest transparency. When we erect a barrier with a person, it’s either because we’re afraid to be honest, tired of being honest and getting hurt, or feel like the relationship isn’t worth the hard work honesty sometimes takes. When we establish boundaries, we are brave enough to be honest but also compassionate enough to wrap the boundary in grace by clearly communicating the parameters of the relationship. Barriers set relationships on a regressive course that leads to isolation. Boundaries set relationships on a progressive course that leads to connection.” p. 85
5. “When I am in an unglued place, I can invite a power beyond my own into the situation by simply speaking His name. I don’t have to know what to do. I don’t have to have all the answers. I don’t have to remember everything I learned in Bible study last week. I just have to remember one thing, one name — Jesus.” p. 111
6. “I just have to learn to reclaim the gentleness that is rightfully mine. And I can reclaim it by practicing the one word that appears right before, ‘Let your gentleness be evident to all’ (Philippians 4:5). That little word is rejoice: ‘Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!’ (Philippians 4:4). The more my heart is parked in a place of thanksgiving and rejoicing, the less room I have for grumpiness.” pp. 120-121
7. “There are private reflections and conversations we need to have with God. There is a desperate need for us to hit pause, sit with God, and ask Him to reveal some things to us.
Where am I going my own way right now?
What area of my life is more self-pleasing than God-pleasing?
What idle words need to be reined in from running rampant in my mind or spilling from my lips?” p. 154
8. “… when the rhythm of my soul is survival instead of revival, I will come unglued.” p. 157
9. “In every situation, in every interaction, in every day, be a noticer of the good. That’s what God-seekers do — they notice the good. Even when the good has nothing to do with the circumstances and everything to do with how God will teach us through them — find the good.” p. 160
10. “…when others come unglued on me, I must remember their external expressions are internal indications as well. Brokenness is there. and while I may not feel tender and gentle toward their unglued expressions or reactions, I can be tender and gentle toward their brokenness.” p. 175
Q4U: How do you keep from coming unglued with others on a difficult day?
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