Top 10 Quotes on Emotional Women Making Wise Choices

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Tuesday night, I got lost on my way home from a Bible study.  I was chatting on the phone with my husband, and I failed to make a turn.  I drove on in the wrong direction for another ten minutes until I realized I had no idea where I was.

I had just ended our phone conversation a couple of minutes earlier, so I redialed.  No answer.  I hung up and called again.   No answer.  I called again and again and again as I anxiously drove into the dark night.

By the time my husband answered, I was unglued.  He sweetly remained calm with me on the phone, apologized for leaving his phone unattended, and suggested I stop at McDonald’s for an ice cream cone on my way home once he got me headed back in the right direction.

I should have pulled into a gas station and waited to connect with him.  But, I pressed on — heart racing and emotions wild.

Sometimes, I react in an ugly way.   I don’t pause to reflect and respond in a godly manner.    This is why I decided to pull Lysa TerKeurst’s book off the shelf and review this morning.   I needed to remember the wisdom shared in Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions.  

Here are my top 10 quotes:

1.  “If we determine that, no matter what, we’re on God’s side, it settles the trust issue in our hearts.  And if we ground ourselves in the reality that we trust God, we can face circumstances that are out of control without acting out of control.  We can’t always fix our circumstances, but we can fix our minds on God.”  p. 28

2.  “Saying ‘I’m fine’ to keep the peace, when we’re really not fine, isn’t honest.  It may seem godly in the moment, but it’s false godliness.  Truth and godliness always walk hand in hand.  The minute we divorce one from the other, we stray from soul integrity and give a foothold to the instability that inevitably leads to coming unglued.”  p. 53

3.  ” In God’s economy, people don’t stand on opposing sides of the conflict scale.  People stand on one side and Satan stands on the other.  When we dump hurt into one another’s lives, we aren’t leveling the conflict scale.  We are just weighing down the people side of the scale and elevating the Satan side of the scale.  Satan loves it when we do his work by dumping on each other.  The secret to healthy conflict resolution isn’t taking a you-against-me stance, but realizing it’s all of us against Satan — he’s the real enemy.’  pp. 64-65

4.  “The difference between boundaries and barriers is honest transparency.  When we erect a barrier with a person, it’s either because we’re afraid to be honest, tired of being honest and getting hurt, or feel like the relationship isn’t worth the hard work honesty sometimes takes.  When we establish boundaries, we are brave enough to be honest but also compassionate enough to wrap the boundary in grace by clearly communicating the parameters of the relationship.  Barriers set relationships on a regressive course that leads to isolation.  Boundaries set relationships on a progressive course that leads to connection.”  p. 85

5.  “When I am in an unglued place, I can invite a power beyond my own into the situation by simply speaking His name.  I don’t have to know what to do.  I don’t have to have all the answers.  I don’t have to remember everything I learned in Bible study last week.  I just have to remember one thing, one name — Jesus.”  p. 111

6.  “I just have to learn to reclaim the gentleness that is rightfully mine.  And I can reclaim it by practicing the one word that appears right before, ‘Let your gentleness be evident to all’ (Philippians 4:5).  That little word is rejoice:  ‘Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again:  Rejoice!’  (Philippians 4:4).  The more my heart is parked in a place of thanksgiving and rejoicing, the less room I have for grumpiness.”   pp. 120-121

7.  “There are private reflections and conversations we need to have with God.  There is a desperate need for us to hit pause, sit with God, and ask Him to reveal some things to us.

Where am I going my own way right now?

What area of my life is more self-pleasing than God-pleasing?

What idle words need to be reined in from running rampant in my mind or spilling from my lips?”   p. 154

8.   “… when the rhythm of my soul is survival instead of revival, I will come unglued.”  p. 157

9.  “In every situation, in every interaction, in every day, be a noticer of the good.  That’s what God-seekers do — they notice the good.  Even when the good has nothing to do with the circumstances and everything to do with how God will teach us through them — find the good.”  p. 160

10.   “…when others come unglued on me, I must remember their external expressions are internal indications as well.  Brokenness is there.  and while I may not feel tender and gentle toward their unglued expressions or reactions, I can be tender and gentle toward their brokenness.”  p. 175

Q4U:   How do you keep from coming unglued with others on a difficult day?

If you are book nerd like me, jump on over here to see more posts about great books I have read.

Joining like-minded sisters today at Cozy Book Hop, Faith-Filled FridayThought-Provoking Thursday, and Women Living Well.   

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Photo Credit:  Unglued Online Media Spot

Lessons Learned in 3D: Sleep Deprived

I am thankful that basketball season is officially over.  Now begins the season of rest — when I can go to bed at a decent hour instead of staying up all night either agonizing over Miami’s ineffective defense of Tony Parker or celebrating Ray Allen’s clutch shot made with 2 seconds left on the clock.  The NBA seriously needs to reconsider scheduling games at 9 PM.  Sleep is essential to my mental stability.

In all seriousness, this night owl needs to get to bed earlier.  I hope to get back into a more normal sleepy time ritual starting this weekend.  Please pray for me — I am much like the whiny five-year-old who refuses to go to bed at night.  Will I ever learn that I can’t function on 4 hours of sleep?  Stay tuned…

On Fridays, I try to make a list of the things God is teaching me — little nuggets of truth that He is speaking to my heart.  I want to be intentional about documenting this so that I don’t forget.  So, here in no particular order are 10 things I learned this week:

1.  Ten minutes of engaged activity will move me forward — especially on activities I don’t want to do (like dusting, ironing, or paying the bills).   Deidra at Jumping Tandem calls this the “Ten Minute Stretch”:

Sometimes I tell myself,

“Just run for ten minutes, and then you can stop.

You’ll be better on the other side.

And, if you’re not better, at least you’ll be done.”

2.  Anne at Modern Mrs. Darcy got me thinking this week with her post “Making it Yours”:

“Ownership–and we’re not just talking money–is a powerful construct. When you make something yours–a town or a book or a baseball team–it becomes part of your identity.

My husband and I have been thinking about what we want to make ours as a family. What will our thing be? What makes us us?”

I mentioned a while back that my husband and I have “our spot,” and we do make an intentional effort at “keeping company,” but what she said about identity really grabbed me.  What do we want our identity as a couple to be?  This is something to pray about with my husband.

3.  God requires complete and reckless abandon.  I have been reading Jennie Allen’s book Anything: The Prayer that Unlocked My God and My Soul, and it is rocking my world.  Oh my!  And, then this week, I opened up feedly on what I thought would be a regular morning to discover that Jennie is challenging us all to put feet to our faith through the “If Gathering.”   If you have a heart to mentor younger sisters, make sure to check this out.

4.  I am changing the world.  This week in India a little girl’s life is better because I opened my heart.  I love how Ann explains the difference child sponsorship makes in her posts “A Letter to the North American Church–Because it is Time” and “The Research that Proves You Can Change the World.” 

5.  I love this idea over at The Dating Divas for a wedding anniversary tradition:  Time Capsule Anniversary Gift.

6.  Blogging can be used very effectively for community Bible study.  The gals over at She Reads Truth have breathed a lot of life into my spirit the last couple of weeks as I joined them for a study of I Peter.  Their fantastic devotions and the reading plan are available through the You Version App, or you may subscribe to the blog to receive the posts. Check out the blog if you are hoping to dig in to the Word in a fresh, relevant way.

7.  Mercy breathes life into a broken soul.  This week I clicked on a tweet and spent the next 20 minutes reading an amazing story of redemption.  Go here to read Jacque’s story of how mercy found her.  I am so thankful that I did.  I love this quote she shared by Ann Voskamp:

“God appoints people who do disappoint–

to point to a God who never disappoints.”

8.  I need to be intentional about affirming my husband.  Kristen at We are THAT Family provided me a framework in her great post “What Every Husband Needs to Hear.” 

9.  I need to “get on my face before the Lord.”  That’s what you do when the “bottom falls out.”  Love this post by Mary Margaret for LifeWay’s Women All Access.

10.  God knits our hearts together with others as we pursue Him.  One of the first bloggers I connected with online was Laura — I love her passion for Him.  I am so honored to join her as Social Media Manager for Missional Women.   If you aren’t familiar with this Online Missional Magazine, head on over and check out the amazing articles and resources.

Q4U: What did you learn this week?

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I am joining Jesse and Crystal this weekend for


The C Word

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So, I am a Cuban.  Did you know?  I mentioned it here in case you hadn’t noticed.  My parents came to the USA when Communism took over in the 60’s during their teenage years, but the shadow of that little island just 90 miles south of my home state looms large over my life.  There are rules about being a Cuban kid.  Yep.  The rules of “Cuban-ness” are firmly ingrained into my psyche.  My dad, the Cuban Fred Flinstone in a guayabera, schooled me in the rules.  The rules must be firmly adhered to and should never be questioned.  In short, the rules are as follows:

Rule Number 1:  You must hate Fidel Castro.

Rule Number 2:  You must hate everyone who likes Fidel Castro.  (This is a big group of people…)

Rule Number 3:  You must be able to communicate rule 1 and 2 in both English and Spanish.

Rule Number 4:  Everyone who hates Fidel Castro must be respected.  This usually means kissing people on the cheek in greeting as you enter and exit a room.

If you are not a Cuban, these rules may seem a bit intolerant, out dated, or even nonsensical, but if you are Cuban kid, you understand that these rules are deeply rooted in pain, passion, and patriotism.  You don’t mess with the rules.  You will politely kiss an old Cuban man who hates the bearded dictator because you are honoring your family in the deepest way.  (Please note the picture above of evidence of my respect for all things Cuban — on my 15th birthday, I donned a big, scary white dress for my “Quinces,” my Cuban “coming out.”)

Now, besides being a Cuban, I am also a Christian.   My Savior donned flesh and came to the earth over 2,000 years ago to die on a cross, and the shadow of that cross defines everything that I am.  There are rules about being a Jesus Chick, a Christ follower.  Yep.  These rules of Christian living have been written on my new heart by God Himself.  My Heavenly Father, the Creator of this universe, penned a book that points me in the right direction.  That book must be firmly adhered to and never questioned.  God’s rules for this Jesus Chick are as follows:

Rule Number One:  Love God with all your heart, mind, and soul.

Rule Number Two:  Love your neighbor (and your enemy) as yourself.

Note:  You must communicate rules 1 and 2 in action, not just in word and thought.  This requires dying to self.

If you are not a Christian, these rules may seem rigid, naïve, or even impossible, but if you are a Christ follower, you know that the rules are deeply rooted in grace, compassion, and devotion.  You don’t dismiss the rules.  You will sacrificially extend yourself to pesky people who disagree with you because you are obeying your Savior’s example.

These days, the word “Christian” has almost become an expletive to some.  It causes me to wonder — how well are we loving others?  Are we obeying the rules?  They will know we are Christians by our love.

Q4U:  Do you think “Christian” has become the “C word”?  How do you live out the call to love others as Christ loved?

My one-word focus for the year is “fruitilicious.”  Find out what that means here.

Joining like-minded sisters today at Faith-Filled Friday, Thought-Provoking Thursday, Tell His Story, Playdates with God, Hear it on Sunday: Use it on Monday, and Soli Deo Gloria.

“The 411”

Welcome,Women Living Well Blog Bashers!

This blog is all about working to keep the faith day by day…

Here you will find

I love Jesus — this blog is about what I am learning as I pursue Him.

Thanks for stopping by.  Feel free to drop me a line @ 3dlessons4life at gmail dotcom or follow me on Twitter (username: 3dlessons4life).  I look forward to hearing from you.

” God, teach me lessons for living
so I can stay the course.
Give me insight so I can do what you tell me—
my whole life one long, obedient response” (Psalms 119:33-34, MSG).

Me and My Hubby — July 2009

Homecoming

During my 17 years as a high school teacher, I participated in many Homecoming celebrations.  My students dressed up in crazy outfits (pajama day was my favorite) and waged epic field day battles in tug of war.  Frankly, I found the whole experience to be exhausting, and relief always flooded my soul when it was over.  The hours of preparation and the crazy student behavior wore me out, but my students always talk about that being their favorite part of high school.  Sometimes, what causes me grief is the best choice to honor those I love and serve.

Recently, I experienced a different kind of Homecoming, an eternal welcome home.  My husband and his siblings spent a great amount of time preparing for this event as their dear mom’s health declined ever so slowly.  It was tiring, rewarding, and emotional.  Their selflessness — it’s the legacy she left them.  Each of them wears it so effortlessly.

Our sweet Miss BJ’s 82nd birthday would have been this past week.  Three months after her passing, we gathered to celebrate her life in her absence.  This year has held many secret treasures for my family that were wrapped up in suffering.  I have learned once again that it so essential to be fully present with those that you love.  Each crazy moment of life is a gift, not to be squandered.

Moms are home keepers.  I certainly learned this from my mom in law’s life as she lived out what is recorded in Titus 2:5 (MSG): “By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.”   I miss her gentle spirit and her smile.

As I move into this new year, may my home and my heart be a welcoming place for those I love.  May laughter fill its rooms and faith be its foundation.   May I be grateful for each moment.

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